Our 'Crash Landing' Story

I haven't  paid much attention to K-dramas over the past few years and the last drama I watched was probably 3 - 4 years ago. However, Crash Landing on You (CLOY) caught my interest, mainly because of Hyun Bin and I'm a sucker for romantic comedies. I was happy when I found out that it is on Netflix and ended up binge-watching all 16 episodes within 2 days. It has been more than a month since I finished watching the drama and I still can't get over it, horrible I know. I've watched all the BTS clips, interviews, and listened to the OST countless times in the past month. Yes, I'm obsessed with it but this has been a great distraction away from the whole Covid situation.

​The unbelievably believable story-line and amazingly well-written script, paired with good-looking main leads with incredible chemistry and stellar acting skills, explain the show's high ratings and global popularity. Even though the heart-wrenching, heart-warming, and heart-fluttering cross-border love story between Ri Jung Hyuk, a North Korean elite army captain and Se-ri, a South Korean heiress may seem unrealistic and impossible in real life, there are parts of their story where we could relate to in our own cross-border/continent, long-distance relationship, which was also made complicated by uncertainties, geographical limitations, and cultural differences. 

In an attempt to get over my withdrawal symptoms or perhaps make it worse, I decided to reflect on the first 6 years of our relationship and how it drew parallels to RiRi couple's 'crash landing' encounter:
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1. ​She crash landed into his world

Se-ri crash-landed into North Korea DMZ in a paragliding mishap, and was stranded in a foreign country, a place that was totally different from the world she came from, all by herself, until she was rescued by Captain Ri.

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While I didn't paraglide or crash-landed on a tree, I did travel from Malaysia (on multiple flights) and safely landed in Alabama after 50 hours, where I spent the next 9 months on an exchange program. I was in a foreign country all by myself not knowing anyone. He was my roommate's brother and we met for the first time on 22 Aug 2008, 2 weeks after I 'crash-landed'. 

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2. ​Love happens when you least expect it

At the beginning, Captain Ri and Se-ri did not intend or expect to find love within each other given the difference in nationality that could never seem to be crossed, and the fact that she will soon return to her own country with his help and they won't see each other again.
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Before I went to the US, I certainly did not plan, intend, or expect to start a relationship there, and dating a Caucasian never ever crossed my mind. Besides, I knew that I'd be returning to Malaysia after 9 months, with no intention or plan to return, so there was really no reason to start a relationship that I knew would end.

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3. ​To love or not to love

It was clear that Captain Ri and Se-ri had feelings and cared a lot for each other during their time in North Korea, but both consciously held back from acting on their feelings and getting too attached, because they knew that it is impossible for them to be together and there's an impending goodbye.

​​Even though we had good feelings for each other, I was hesitant to start a relationship, knowing that the chances of us continuing and maintaining a long-distance relationship after I leave is low. Since we were both aware that this relationship will most likely end and it will hurt to say goodbye, why even bother starting in the first place. 

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​​4. ​​It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all ​

​"Even if I have to worry about losing you every day, I want to have you in my life. Even if it breaks my heart because it's a dream that can't come true, I'd like to sincerely dream of the future." - Captain Ri 
​This was his thoughts after she was shot. He loved and cared so much about her that he was willing to risk his heart and at least hope for the best, even if they may not have a future together.
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Despite the uncertain future, we decided to give ourselves the opportunity to love and be loved, and to learn more about each other. We may risk breaking our hearts if we end up losing each other, but at least we've tried and made the best out of the limited time we had together. 

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5. Bridging two different worlds

The show delicately portrayed the contrasting lives between both countries. Se-ri, who is used to a luxurious and advanced city life, was forced to adapt to life in a village with frequent blackouts, no hot bath, and no internet. She went from an entitled, arrogant, demanding, and picky 'princess' who needs scented candles to sleep, drink only Sauvignon Blanc with seafood, etc. to someone who blends in with the villagers, realizing that they are just ordinary folks trying to live their lives with what they have, and finds happiness in simplicity. All thanks to the sweet and thoughtful things Captain Ri did to make her feel more comfortable. He had studied/lived in Switzerland before so he's not oblivious to the 'modern' world.

​Coming from two different countries and growing up with different cultural backgrounds, we had our fair share of differences to overcome. In our case, he was like Se-ri, while I can relate more to Captain Ri. The arrogant American vibe was definitely evident in the beginning. However, as we learnt more about each other, we realized that we are not that different after all. We are just normal people living our lives as best we can based on the circumstances we find ourselves in. 

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6. ​​​Not alone after all

​"All I had was myself, I didn't have anybody else, so this is awkward for me, having someone else that isn't myself. You looked at me, listened to me, smiled at me, ate with me, kept promise with me even if we didn’t make any contract, and protected me. All along you were by my side. And I had you by my side." - Se-ri

​I traveled alone to the US with the expectation of experiencing this journey all by myself in my host university. I had no friends or family around, so I had to be independent because all I had was myself in this new environment. Well, that was what I thought, until he crash landed into my world one day. He'd drive 1.5 hours to meet me, hangout in my dorm, eat with me at the cafeteria, and his family treated me like part of their family. 

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7. ​​​Action speaks louder

The couple ring scene was nicely orchestrated. Captain Ri wanted to give her something special, but they were carefully avoiding making promises to each other so he tried to brush it off by saying that he bought it without any thoughts. Yea right.

He wanted to give me something meaningful and thoughtful before I left. Knowing that I enjoy taking photos and blog, the camera will allow him to continue 'seeing' my life through my blog after I leave. As for the necklace, the fact that he asked his mom's opinion showed that he really cares.

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8. The impending goodbyes​

When it was finally time for Se-ri to leave North Korea (with his help), he told her to go back to her old life as if nothing had happened. She didn't want him to worry and played it cool by assuring him that she'd be fine. Even though he was reluctant, he told her to date men she likes; he just doesn't want her to be lonely or consider ending her life again, and he'd be grateful if she can be happy forever, even if he can't be by her side.

​Their second goodbye during the finale was even more emotional as they had already fallen deeply in love with each other. Knowing that they may never see each other forever, all he could say to console her was to wait and pray desperately when she misses him. Their heartfelt "I love you" and "Goodbye" was absolutely heart-breaking.

Our goodbye in May 2009 was not as dramatic but it was certainly tearful. I felt like I was right there with Captain Ri and Se-ri, kudos to their great acting.  I could totally understand how hard it was having to say goodbye to someone you love and care, but not knowing if you will ever see them again. That was exactly how we felt when we said our goodbyes at the airport before I returned to my old life on the other side of the world. Even though we could stay in touch online, we honestly did not know when or if we will ever see each other again. We mutually agreed that if either of us find someone else to date, we would wish the other person well and move on, as it would be unfair to keep each other waiting for a future that we can't promise each other. 

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9. Reunited in her world

Who would have ever thought Se-ri would see Captain Ri again, and in South Korea? The odds of him randomly finding her in the neighborhood that she once mentioned to him can only happen in K-drama land, but we loved it. Such a sweet reunion and we all want to see more of them.

While he didn't crawl through a 10km long cave for 20 hours to cross the border, he did save up to buy his first ever international flight ticket and traveled half way across the world to visit me (and my family) in Malaysia after 1.5 years. 

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10. Cherish every moment

From North Korea to South Korea, the couple said their goodbyes so many times, and every goodbye felt like a forever goodbye. Thus, every chance they get to spend together felt like a precious gift, and the very uncertainty of what the future holds is what spurs them to cherish what they have together in the present moment, all the more.
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“That’s the decision I’ve made. We only get to live one life. But I have decided to spend mine encountering the love of my life, letting him go, and waiting to meet once again. That’s what I’ve decided to do. So if you feel the same way, come to me.” — Se-ri
“You came into my life like a gift. I am thankful for that.” — Captain Ri 

Our long distance relationship lasted for 5 years, and we only got to see each other for 3 weeks each year on average. Even though we didn't get to spend a lot of time together, the distance, the impending goodbyes, and uncertain future made us cherish every moment we have together even more. The limited time we have together also made us appreciate the little things that most couples consider ordinary, such as having a meal, going to the mall, and grocery shopping together.​

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11. The happy ending

The couple finally reunited in Switzerland, where their story began. Even though they are only able to see each other 2 weeks every year, it is still ultimately much more than they could hope for. What better way to end this beautiful love story with such a majestic and scenic backdrop of the Swiss Alps.

"I got on the wrong train, and that very train brought me here. It brought me to the place I've yearned to come every morning and night. It brought me to my destination." — Captain Ri

Our long-distance marathon ended with a happy ending when we got married in December 2013 and met up in Norway for our honeymoon in May 2014. However, it wasn't until December 2014 when we came full circle and finally reunited for good at the very place where our story began. 

Love finds a way. Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel. A great reminder of just how strong true love really is. If your heart can take the distance, then you know it is real. ​
命中注定要在一起的两个人，即使绕地球一圈也会遇见彼此。对于这份难得的缘分，我俩心存感恩。

12. "Your birthday will always be a good day"

"Next year, the year after that, and even the year after that, will all be good. Because I’ll be thinking of you. I’ll be grateful that you were born into this world. I’ll be grateful that the person I love is still breathing.  That's why your birthday will always be a good day." 
​— Captain Ri

One last random plug because there are too many good lines and scenes in this drama that I loooove. Anyway, we don't really celebrate our birthdays but our birthdays will always be a good day because our birthdays are only one day apart (same day if you consider the time difference between Malaysia and US), so we won't risk forgetting each other's birthday...lol!!

I absolutely loved this drama and I don't think any other drama will be able to live up to the high standards of CLOY any time soon, at least not for me. Hyun Bin and Son Ye Jin delivered such great chemistry on and off-screen that I hope they'd be together in real-life. The scriptwriter, Park Ji-eun, needs to get an award for such a well-written script. There are so many lines/quotes that are memorable and touching, even when translated in English/Chinese.  And no, they are not cheesy.  =P

Anyway, pardon the PDA and I'm by no means trying to turn our story into a K-drama. I'm just thankful that CLOY gave me the opportunity to reflect on our own journey as we step into the 12th year since we 'crash-landed' into each other's world. It's a good reminder of how far we have come, how much we have overcome, and to never forget what brought us together in the first place. As the saying goes, nothing worth having comes easy.